Jon and Kate and Child Custody

Jon and Kate, co-parenting

 

Jon and Kate and Child Custody

Last week, we discovered that, indeed, Jon and Kate are going to divorce.  They are planning to use a very common co-parenting technique, called “bird-nesting”.  “Bird-nesting” leaves the children in a single home, with the parents switching out.  The best practice involves both parents obtaining a second residence, in addition to the one used for parenting time with the children.  However, sometimes, co-parents can share a single residence for a short period of time. 

 “Bird-nesting” and co-parenting

“Bird-nesting” is not usually a long term solution for co-parenting, as people increasingly find it hinders their ability to pursue other relationships, as well as infringes upon their privacy.   There is at least some thought that bird-nesting is not in the best interests of the children.  See the All Academic web site.     (purchase required).  In my experience, children handle divorce a lot better than parents think they will.   Unless your children have special needs, it is likely that they can handle having more than one bed.  

In Jon and Kate’s situation, bird-nesting might be a necessity, since few people want to duplicate a home that will satisfy the needs of eight children as well as two individuals that will be going their own way. 

 

Jennifer Moore
Moore Family Law
Plymouth,  MN

jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

Big Egos, Big Fees and Big Divorce Lawyers

BIG CLIENTS AND BIG ATTORNEYS

IN A FAMILY LAW OFFICE

As the office manager in a family law office, I have the opportunity to read about, reflect upon, and learn from our daily interactions with clients – and attorneys! – going through an emotional and stressful time.  Good thing I like a challenge!  Thinking things over, “Bigness” has been on my mind this week.

 And, before I forget; I’ve noticed there are a lot of people interested in the child support calculator and child support payment calculator.  Here’s a link you can use in Minnesota Minnesota Child Support Guidelines Calculator

 Anyway, on to “Bigness.”

 The Big World

As I type this I’m listening to the “BBC World News” http://news.bbc.co.uk/ which is full of news about British doomsday planning for nuclear war in the 1980’s (which always ended in launching every nuclear armed missile possible), the disputed election in Iran (numerous persons killed), a subway train crash in Washington, D. C. (nine dead so far) and the bankruptcy of a local auto dealer here in Minneapolis, Minnesota (tax liens against his properties).  It gives one pause, and some perspective, while going about one’s daily routines.

 OK, here we go.  I work in a small firm and I’m not an attorney so naturally I’ve a specific point of view about “Bigness.”  My thanks to the American Bar Association magazine, “GPSolo” www.abanet.org/genpractice  for inspiration and thoughtful information.  These opinions of mine here are just that – my opinions.

 Big Ego Divorce Clients

We’ve said this before in this blog, but it bears repeating – you are not the only person involved in a divorce or other family law matter.  There’s the kids; the other party; and the law and the processes of the law.  Minnesota, where I’m located, is not the best place to go for the jugular in a divorce action  — we’re kind of common-sensical here, don’t ya know.  Juries don’t normally award big claims in accident cases; and judges, in our experience, usually are truly focused on justice and equity for all involved – especially for the children, whether it be specifically child custody or child support case or not.

 Big Ego Divorce Attorneys

Attorneys in our firm often return from court with the most interesting stories!  These sometimes involve lawyers for the opposing party who think bluster and arrogance substitute for preparation, careful litigation, a knowledge of the law, and skill.  They don’t; though they can needlessly run up the bill for their own clients and for the opposing party in a divorce.

 Big Attorney’s Offices

Yes, law firms have been known to dress for success!  As the guy who writes the checks around here, my advice is that what you want to look for is a location that reflects competence, success, and sympathy for your legal matter.  I have been to law offices located in rundown houses that were slums, really; and to those in a downtown high rise with subtle designer interiors and designer furnishings.  My take on this?  Avoid the slum for all the obvious reasons.  The downtown high rise lawyer might be just the ticket for you – but you are ultimately the one paying the rent and it’ll be reflected in your bill.

 Big Law Firms

If you are preparing for a divorce, child custody, alimony, or child support legal action, a big firm might be just the thing for you – I’d like to think my family law firm can handle *anything* but we all have our limits.  Do you have a really complex family law case – crossing numerous states, involving numerous family businesses, numerous residences and nearly non-existent record keeping?  A large firm might be best for you.

 Big Fees for Divorce Lawyers

This is related to the big law firm and the big attorney’s office threads.  Let me be blunt.  Your divorce attorney can’t advocate for you if you don’t pay the bill.  Additionally, would you rather they spend their time hassling with you over what you have contracted to pay them; or spend their time productively working on your case?  We don’t do checkbook justice, but you do get what you pay for.  This can be tricky.  I’d say, as the guy who sends out the bills here, look first for an attorney you can trust, who has the skills you need, and who is interested in your case.  Then, make sure you can pay them – remembering that a retainer is usually only a down payment.  If you can’t afford this particular attorney, don’t hire them.  Find another.  In any case, pay your bill; you’ll get a better professional relationship and a better result in your case.

 Thomas Moore

www.MooreFamilyLawMN.com

Plymouth, Minnesota

Thomas.Moore@MooreFamilyLawMN.com

 

Marriage, Divorce… and the Children

Should You Avoid Divorce For Sake of the Children?

  

Marriage, Divorce… and the Effect on the Children

People fall in love, get married, have kids, and then…  they’re out of love, but they still have the marriage and the kids.  You can get a divorce.  The marriage can be dissolved so that the legal ties that bind are no longer there to hold unhappy and unwilling partners together.  However, your children will always be a connection the two of you will share. 

 It’s a tricky question of whether to avoid divorce or separation just for the sake of the children, however.  Recently on the “Today”  show website http://today.msnbc.msn.com a contributor, Dr. Ruth Peters, wrote an article titled “Should you stay together for the kids?” www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13924018/  It’s a good look at the complicated issues that can affect your decision. 

Marriage, Divorce… and the Effect on the Rest of the Family

Myself, I think that if you’re unhappy and engaging in an unhealthy relationship, you are teaching your children that it’s ok to be unhappy and to have unhealthy relationships.  How you live your life will affect your children more than giving them an occasional talk that includes “Do as I say, not as I do.”  

One Good Co-Parenting Link

Every county in Minnesota requires that divorcing parents take a class on co-parenting after divorce.  Hennepin County lists its on its website the www.courts.state.mn.us/district/4/?page=647 Divorce Education Requirements page .  www.courts.state.mn.us/district/4/?page=647

 This education requirement is not about teaching you how to parent:  you obviously have figured that out by this point.  The class will teach you how to effectively co-parent with someone you are no longer married to, which is far more important than people often anticipate.  The class is more than worth the time you will spend in it.  My clients often come back and tell me that they wish they could make their former spouse attend the class three more times.  

Emily Matson

Emily.Matson@MooreFamilyLawMN.com

 Moore Family Law, P.A.

www.MooreFamilyLawMN.com

 Plymouth, MN

 

Your First Meeting with Your Lawyer

 

Meeting Your Attorney 

The Initial Consultation

When you are dealing with any legal matter, — divorce, child custody, estate planning, or something else; you will of course have to meet your lawyer.  While every attorney handles this meeting in his or her own way, here is one take on how that meeting would proceed.  

First, you’ll have to find their office!  Be sure to ask, or to map it, or to get directions on the phone.  You do not want to be late to this meeting or arrive flustered by a frustrating chase around unfamiliar streets looking for an office.  Some attorneys do make house calls or visit you at some spot convenient for you, but most prefer to meet you in their office.  That this is “their turf” and not yours may be part of their approach, in order to ensure that you are capable of making some commitment to what can be an exhausting, long-term, and expensive relationship – hopefully resulting in you prevailing in your lawsuit, obtaining your divorce, drawing up and instituting your estate plan.  Your prospective attorney may want to see if you’re up to at least some inconvenience and effort on your own part. 

First Impressions Matter to You – And to Your Lawyer

OK, you’re in their office.  Pay attention.  Are you greeted immediately and courteously?  Are you expected?  Is this place like the offices on “Boston Legal” or “L.A. Law?”  Probably not!  So, being realistic, you’ll want to assess this first impression when you decide to employ this attorney – or not. 

The first person you meet may be your attorney, a paralegal, or an office staffer.  You may be handed a form to fill out, offered coffee, tea, or bottled water.  You may be asked if you have brought any paperwork relating to your matter.  Eventually – hopefully soon! – You will be invited into your prospective attorney’s office.  

Bear in mind that the law is not just about statute, litigation, and precedent.  It is also a very psychological matter – so you’d be advised to be aware not only of your intellectual, mental interaction with this person; but also of how you feel about him or her.  Do you have a battle ahead over, say, child support?  If so, do you want a lawyer who is a compromiser / nice guy; a battleaxe / bulldog; or something unique you can’t quite put your finger on yet?    

How Your Family Law Attorney Might Proceed

She would ask what brought you to her, giving you a chance to expand upon your motivation; and asking more directed questions to bring out what might be important to your cause.  It’s a back and forth question and answer format.  The law can be abstruse and non-common-sensical at times, so by all means ask questions back.  The point is to build some trust between you now, if possible. 

She will talk about the attorney – client relationship and confidentiality. 

She will outline what she sees your case to be and give some generic raw legal advice.  You cannot expect her to lay out her entire role for you here – especially since the initial client interview is often free to you.  This is an interview in both directions, actually:  you are trying to see if she is the attorney for you; and so is she. 

She will talk about the legal process you face.  In some jurisdictions and for some types of law this can be very standardized; in others, not. 

She will talk about two basic strategies in almost any case:  settlement (no trial) or trial.  Neither one is perfect and both typically involve both some work and some compromise.  

The attorney will explain the business of the law.  You have to pay the fee to get the advocacy you need.  

Finally, the lawyer and you will end the interview.  He or she will let you know what follow up you can expect – usually a letter or email. 

Is This the Lawyer for You?

That’s it!  Now, it’s time for you to make a choice – this attorney?  Another?  Drop the whole plan?  Good luck! 

Thomas Moore

Office Manager

www.MooreFamilyLawMN.com

Plymouth, Minnesota

Thomas.Moore@MooreFamilyLawMN.com

 

JON AND KATE DIVORCE?

There’s been a lot of news about Jon and Kate Gosselin, the parents of sextuplets and twins who have documented their life on TLC’s Jon & Kate Plus Eight (http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/jon-and-kate/jon-and-kate.html).  It’s juicy gossip.  Jon is accused of infidelity.  Kate is accused of having a volatile temper.  It appears they are headed for divorce.    Lime Life reports they spent their 10th Anniversary apart.  http://www.limelife.com/blog-entry/Jon-and-Kate-Gosselins-10-Year-Anniversary-Apart/6438.html.  The National Register claims that Jon wants to quit the show. http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272626504.shtml

 Would Jon Get Child Custody? 

It’s all great gossip.  What makes the potential for divorce particularly enticing for the gossip mill is that there is a good chance that Jon, a stay-at-home father, would assume primary custody of the children.  Kate has been spending a lot of time away from home on business related to her books and publicity for the show, while Jon has stayed home to care for the children.  Kate is also rumored to be a less than ideal parent–although I have a hard time judging anyone’s parenting skills, much less a mother of eight young children.  

What About Jon and Kate’s Marital Property?

In all likelihood, Jon’s infidelity is less important to a court than Kate’s parenting skills.  But, how do you value the Gosselin estate?   How do you split it up? 

As we obtain more information, I will attempt to interpret it here.  

Jennifer Moore
www.MooreFamilyLawMN.com

Plymouth,  MN
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

Buckle Up, Minnesota, Buckle Up! 

(With a tip of our cap to “Buckle Down Winsocki, Buckle Down” lyrics:  http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/bestfootforward/buckledownwinsocki.htm )

 Safety First…

Beginning June 9, 2009, you can be stopped by a police officer if you do not have your seatbelt on.  This is a change, because in the past, police could only stop you if you committed some other violation in addition to a seatbelt violation.    http://www.startribune.com/local/47145682.html?elr=KArksUUUU

 And, Avoiding Problems in a Divorce Child Custody Dispute 

While I do not think it is a major crime not to wear a seatbelt, I have seen significant family law litigation over the failure to use seatbelts or car seats for children.  Often, the newly single parent does not have the means to purchase a car seat, or their cars are in poor repair.   Here is a guide to Hennepin County resources to assist parents in obtaining the proper safety restraints:  http://www.buckleupkids.state.mn.us/Hennepin%20County%20Guide%202005.pdf.  It is worth a little hassle to avoid custody litigation.

 Jennifer Moore
www.MooreFamilyLawMN.com

Plymouth, MN
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

Home for the Holidays?

 Holidays and Children and Divorce

As a parents facing divorce, the biggest question you will face is determining custody and parenting time for your children.  This includes not only the day to day scheduling issues, but also the important days of the year that involve the holidays. 

Holidays must be addressed by every parenting schedule.  It is a question that must be addressed by every family; however, the answer to that question depends on your particular family.  

What a parenting time plan MUST include is a schedule that address where the children will be on the major holidays and vacations during the year.  This includes New Years Eve and Day, Spring Break, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Hanukah, and other that may be important to your religion and culture.  

Vacations and Children and Divorce

Additionally, parents may wish to reserve a one-week or two-week period during which they can take a vacation with the children.  Usually this is reserved to spring break, winter break, and summer break time periods so that the children’s school is uninterrupted. 

 Details and Children and Divorce

What I typically see in a parenting plan holiday schedule is that the parents alternate years – in even years, mom has the children for Christmas Eve, and dad has them for Christmas Day; in odd years, they switch.  It is also important to consider which holidays matter most to you.  Is it ok for your children to be with your spouse for Thanksgiving, Easter, and Christmas Day all in the same year?  If not, then you should look at the alternating schedule to make sure it reflects what you want to have happen. 

 Finally, make sure that your schedule specifies whether it covers the Holiday day, or Holiday weekend, and what time periods that covers.  Sometimes Thanksgiving is just one day, sometimes it’s a 4-day weekend.  Sometimes Christmas Eve ends at 10 PM; sometimes “Christmas Day” starts at 10 AM the next day.  It is important to discuss these potential solutions with your spouse at the time you draft your parenting time plan.  It is not safe to assume that you and your spouse will work on the same time frame once things are in place!

 Emily M. Matson, Esq.

www.moorefamilylawMN.com

Plymouth, MN 55447

Phone:  763-951-7330

emily.matson@moorefamilylawmn.com

 

Minnesota Budget Cuts Impact Courts, Consumers

Minnesota Budget Cuts Will Impact Courts and Consumers

 Budget Cuts for Minnesota Courts

The news from the Governor’s Desk is quite mixed for the judicial system.  The budget signed into law from Governor Pawlenty did contain some minor budget cuts for the Minnesota Courts.  The Courts were already operating on a very slim budget, so the cuts will affect services.   To minimize the impact on consumers of judicial services, the Courts intend to implement some fairly significant increases in filing fees.  

 

No Sales Tax on Legal Services

Also on the legislative radar this year was the imposition of a sales tax on legal services.  It did not pass.  Such a tax would have presented a great hardship to individuals seeking legal representation.  Not only would the tax have increased every legal bill in Minnesota by the sales tax percentage, but it would have increased overhead for attorneys who are unaccustomed to sales tax reporting and collections.  Overhead is the primary determinant of the price of legal services.  

 

Minnesota Court Funding

Full coverage of the court funding issues in Minnesota is at http://www.1000supporters.org/

Jennifer Moore
Moore Family Law, P.A.
Plymouth, MN
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

Financing Life during a Divorce

 Divorce and Earning Some Extra Cash 

One of my goals as a divorce attorney is to assist my clients obtain sufficient support to maintain their assets and meet their reasonable monthly needs during a divorce.  However, as families separate from one household into two, there might not be quite enough money to finance both households and the costs of a divorce.   In these cases, my clients often look for ways to make a little extra money each month.  If you find yourself in that category, and you consider yourself “crafty”, take a gander at www.etsy.com. It’s a place to sell your arts and crafts (or buy them from other people). I am not “crafty” but found the site inspirational.

 Divorce and Managing your Personal Finances 

Sometimes, divorce makes a person realize that they don’t know the first thing about how to run their personal finances.  I have read a lot of books on personal finance, but my favorite is by Jerrold Mundis.  “How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously for the Rest of Your Life,” will help you develop a personal spending plan, reduce and eliminate your debt, and live within your means.  Here’s the link:  http://www.amazon.com/How-Debt-Stay-Live-Prosperously/dp/0553382020/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243441837&sr=1-1

 Jennifer Moore

Moore Family Law
Plymouth,  MN
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

SERIOUS ESSAY ON THE LAW (NOT!)

Yet One More Closely Reasoned Essay

On the Seriousness of

Family Law and Estate Planning

 Oh, the heck with it!  I give up!  It’s Spring!

 What I’d really like to do today can be expressed thus:

 “Get into Reggae Cowboy” 

 http://www.amazon.com/Get-Into-Reggae-Cowboy/dp/B0011W7E96/ref=sr_f2_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1243684238&sr=102-1

 Or, 

“I Don’t Want to Work” 

http://www.amazon.com/Bang-Drum-All-Day-Version/dp/B0012FBZOW/ref=sr_f2_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1243684369&sr=102-1

 

<With thanks to The Bellamy Brothers and Todd Rundgren.>

 Have a great weekend!

 Tom Moore

Moore Family Law