By Jennifer Moore, Family Law Attorney

As part of your divorce, you may have decided to change your name. If so, there are several steps you should take after your divorce becomes final. Your first step should be to obtain a certified copy of your Judgment and Decree from the Court Administrator. Then, you will want to do the following:

  1. Notify the Social Security Administration.
  2. Obtain a new driver’s license or state identification card.
  3. Change your name on all bank and investment accounts and your safe deposit boxes.
  4. Change your name on all credit cards.
  5. Notify all of your creditors.
  6. Notify your utility companies.
  7. Change your passport.
  8. File a change of address with the post office.
  9. Change your car titles and registration.
  10. Notify insurance companies.
  11. Notify your employer and any retirement or pension accounts.
  12. Notify friends, relatives and co-workers.
  13. Change your email address if it contains your married name.
  14. Notify places where you have memberships and subscriptions, such as the public library, health club, or Netflix.
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A Family Law Attorney’s advice on Preventing Divorce

 
Over the past few years, I’ve seen a lot of divorce.  I’m not sure how many were preventable.  I do know that many of my clients did not want the divorce.  But in Minnesota, if one party wants a divorce, a divorce is granted by the Courts.  I’ve heard good things about Divorce Busting.   http://www.divorcebusting.com/  Maybe it will prevent some of you from becoming a client. 
 

Jennifer Moore
Moore Family Law, P.A.
www.moorefamilylawMN.com

Plymouth,  MN
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

High Net Worth?

Get Divorced Now

 

The January 2009 issue of the ABA Journal (American Bar Association www.abajournal.com  ) contains an interesting and relevant article for our high net worth readers, written by Eleanor Breitel Alter.

 

With thanks to Ms. Alter, here is my take on her article.

 

Ms. Alter, who practices in New York City, cites her own experience of getting a steady stream of high-net-worth divorce clients starting from the time Lehman Brothers failed in September of last year.  From a rational viewpoint, this makes sense:  divorcing when your net worth is down means that you will have less to divide up with your soon-to-be ex, and it means disencumbering yourself when you have major concerns regarding finances, life style, career, and children. 

 

At the same time, faltering markets, unsure markets, down markets all force your hand.  The article cites increased reappraisal of assets and increased scrutiny of values during the divorce proceedings.  Where I office, we are finding increased litigation as spouses do battle over who will get the house that’s under water, the summer cabin that can’t be sold, and the retirement and investment funds they both fear will be worth, in round numbers, zero.  Now can be a good time to quantify these potential losses, come to grips with them, and move on.

 

Furthermore, Ms. Alter points out, there are clients with large incomes and expenditures just as large, at best.  More than one family has been maintaining a certain life style on a deficit, and the consequences of being wedded to a spendthrift, or of being one, are usually painful.  Our experience here in Minnesota bears this out.  We are finding that all the above can combine for a more complex, harrowing, and expensive divorce.

 

Which brings us to another of Ms. Alter’s points — and a hopeful one:  these conditions can also be motivation for both sides of the divorce to work together to come up with a rational, fair, and less traumatic, divorce.  Often, decrees are negotiated with an eye to renegotiating them again when economic and personal conditions change in the future, reducing the complexity and expense of trying to predict what is inherently unpredictable.  It’s up to you.

 

All of which we hope is food for thought.

 

Thomas Moore

Office Manager

Moore Family Law, P.A.

 

Our web site:

www.moorefamilylawMN.com

 

Our email:

mfl@moorefamilylawMN.com

Market Risk and Divorce

April 22, 2009

Market Risk and Divorce

 

One of the biggest issues in divorce involves the liquidity of the assets.  In a typical divorce, there will be a house, bank and investment accounts, and retirement assets.  The house and retirement accounts are not readily convertible into cash (especially in this market).  The bank and investment accounts are cash equivalents.  A good divorce settlement will attempt to match the needs of each party to the liquidity of the assets awarded to them in the divorce.  Thus, if one party will need cash to go back to school or fund a new home purchase, he or she should be awarded enough liquid assets to accomplish this goal.  At the same time, however, market risk is inherent in less liquid assets.  For example, until recently, real estate was a phenominal investment, but in the last year, prices have declined substantially, and there is a chance that it will be difficult to sell the home. 

 

Consider this extreme example of an unbalanced divorce settlement:  http://consumerist.com/5215609/divorcing-a-tycoon-you-win-some-you-win-some  The comments to the story are also interesting reading. 

Jennifer Moore
Moore Family Law, P.A.
(763) 951-7330
mfl@moorefamilylawMN.com
www.moorefamilylawMN.com

The economy is affecting everyone in one way or another.  Even if you still have your job, you might be having a hard time making the house payment.  Even if you still have your house, you might be having a hard time buying groceries.  Something is getting cut along the way for everyone, and sometimes this has a greater impact than you might originally expect.

 

Minnesota Court Budgets

In the Court system, the situation is the same.  The budget that the Courts need and the budget that the Courts get are two different things, and the Courts have to make decisions about where to cut back.  Articles in the publications, including http://mnbar.org/benchandbar/2008/dec08/court.html  in “Minnesota Bench & Bar” and http://www.growthandjustice.org/Fewer_clerks_shorter_hours_Budget_cuts_slow_wheels_of_justice.html in “Growth and Justice”, have addressed the problems facing the Courts.  The Court websites themselves have posted bulletins about the budget cuts’ impact http://www.mncourts.gov/district/4/?page=3278  and how funding cuts threaten public safety http://www.courts.state.mn.us/district/0/?page=NewsItemDisplay&item=44518

 

The Impact on Family Law in Minnesota

The impact of the budget cuts on your family law matter could include the following:

  • Delay in filing matters and scheduling hearings and trials.
  • Delay due to lack of law clerks and court administrators to handle the work, and potentially less informed judicial officers.
  • Delay in filing due to courts being closed on Wednesday afternoons.
  • Lack of services such as arbitration and appointments of Guardians ad Litem.

 

Until the economy turns around and more money is available for Court services, you should expect a longer delay in having your family matter resolved.  Consider hiring an attorney help guide you through the process and explain the frustrating delays to help you through this difficult time. 

 

Emily M. Matson, Esq.

www.moorefamilylawMN.com

emily.matson@moorefamilylawmn.com

The Annual Family Law Institute in Minnesota

Every year at the end of March, the Minnesota State Bar Association’s Family Law Section (  http://www.mnbar.org/sections/family-law/  ) puts on the conference of the year for family law attorney:  The Annual Family Law Institute.  As we’re getting ready to attend this year’s conference, I am reminded of the excellent opening day speaker from the 2008 conference:  Constance R. Ahrons, Ph.D. ( http://constanceahrons.com/ ), whose topic “Listening to Children About Divorce” confirmed what many of us in family law have been trying to explain to our clients – children are affected by how you and your spouse relate to each other and your children.

 

Family and Children after Divorce

Included in her talk was an overview of her article, “Family Ties after Divorce:  Long-Term Implications for Children,”  Family Process ( http://familyprocess.org/ ), Vol. 46, No. 1, 2007.  Dr. Ahrons’ analysis of the long-term affects of divorce on the well-being of children offers a lesson for all parents now starting the divorce process:

 

“No single factor contributed more to children’s self-reports of well-being after divorce than the continuing relationship between their parents.  Children whose parents were cooperated reported better relationships with their parents, grandparents, stepparents, and siblings.  Most of all, the children said that they wanted to have relationships with both parents.  What the children wanted was not for their parents to be friends as much as they wanted them to be cordial and not badmouth each other.”

 

Id., pp. 58-59.

 

If you are able to maintain a cooperative relationship with your spouse, even if you don’t ever like each other again, your children will have better lives for it. 

 

Plan Now for Happier Milestones

When clients first come into the office and sit down and tell a story of heart ache and sadness and regret, and worse, I try to get them to think about the future, about when the divorce is done and it’s time to have a new start on life.  I ask them to think about their children – when they graduate high school, or college, or get married, picture being at their wedding and getting along with your former spouse for the sake of your child.  If you alienate your children and put them in the middle during the divorce, and subject them to the fighting that is going on between the two of you, then both parents might not be invited to those events.  If you want to make sure your children are going to have happy milestones that include you, make sure you have a relationship that means it can include your former spouse as well.

 

I’m Emily M. Matson:

Emily.matson@moorefamilylawMN.com

 

I’m family law and trusts and estates attorney at Moore Family Law: www.moorefamilylawMN.com

3350 Annapolis Lane North, Suite C

Plymouth, MN  55447

763-951-7330

MN Divorce Attorney Discusses Divorce and Laughter

 

Obviously, divorce is not a happy subject.  But there sure seem to be a lot of jokes about it.  I think that’s because it sometimes helps to laugh about painful subjects.  So, here is my favorite divorce joke:  “Have you heard of the new divorced Barbie doll? – She comes with all of Ken’s stuff!” 

 

My hope for my clients, both women and men, is that when they complete the process, they don’t feel like Ken.  

 

Here’s another classic:  A divorce court judge said to the husband, “Mr. Perry, I have reviewed this case very carefully and I’ve decided to give your wife $800 a week.” “That’s very fair, your honor,” he replied. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

 

I wish I could get that result!

 

For more divorce humor, go to http://www.divorcehq.com/humor.shtml .  I am not promising that these are tasteful jokes.  But I did laugh out loud.

 

 

Jennifer Moore

 

You can reach me at Moore Family Law
3350 Annapolis Lane North, Suite C
Plymouth, MN 55447
(763) 951-7330
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com

A MN Family Lawyer Talks Candidly About Divorce, a Will, and Estate Planning

 

OK, You Need a Divorce, a Will, or some Estate Planning, but…

This blog is difficult!  Have you ever felt – or been – disappointed and disorganized, dull and depressed?  I have! 

 After mulling this over this not-so-cosmic realization for a while it finally occurred to me that I’ve noticed a few interesting things lately, all of which can be summed up as “we are in crisis.”  Well, some of us, perhaps many of us, are in a crisis.  I don’t see this as basically anyone’s personal failing.  I think the whole society is in a crisis.  This may hit us personally in various ways – we need to change our will, set up a trust for our handicapped or flighty children, we need a divorce or a change in child support payments or alimony.  It hits us in many ways, but it is objective, originating outside of us, and there’s not a lot we can do about the huge changes in our society right now.  But, there are some things we can change for the better. 

 

Legal Problems are Compounded When You Have the Blahs or the Blues

Look, you’re reading this because you’ve found the Moore Family Law blog on the Web and probably because you’re considering divorce, a will, or some other not-necessarily-pleasant life change, right?  If you’re like many of the people we are seeing in our family law practice and in our trusts and estates practice this spring, you are justifiably angry, hurt, or both.  Still, getting your life back on the right track is something you need to do, regardless of how you feel right now and regardless of whatever confusion and indecision you may be feeling right now.

 

So Get Off the Couch and…

May I offer a suggestion?  Leap off the cliff and figure out on the way down how to invent the parachute.  In short, do something, anything that needs to be done, no matter how minor it may be.  Just do something.  It’ll get you off the couch and open up your mind, your will power, and your emotions to tackle the bigger stuff – that divorce or estate plan I mentioned above.

 

Still with me?  I’m talking from experience here.  When I suddenly snap to the fact that I’m watching infomercials, for goodness’ sake, but then get up and do something productive, when I start to get energized, I suddenly discover that I’m more optimistic, active and happy; and I’m  getting things done, too.  The point isn’t that, hey, all that got done was the trash got taken out or the oil changed in the car — big whoop.  Nope, the point is that when you start taking control in any area of your life, the benefits for you are truly global.

 

Once you’ve gotten this far, you can take the occasion S.T.O.P:  Meaning

 

  • Stop what you’re doing
  • Take stock of your situation and the situation outside of yourself
  • Orient yourself in the new situation
  • Proceed

 

But that’s another blog!  
 

The Proof is in The Pudding!


If you’re stuck with some unpleasant task that you really have to do that you don’t want to, that you’re afraid of failing in, that you don’t understand – do it anyway.  The fact that you realize that you have a problem is proof that you can find a solution to it; and the fact that you are doing something positive is part of that solution.

 

Have a great day!

 

I’m Tom Moore, the office manager at Moore Family Law.  We hope you find this blog amusing – and informative.  You can contact Moore Family Law at:

 

3350 Annapolis Lane North, Suite C

Plymouth, MN  55447

mfl@MooreFamilyLawMN.com

Come back and visit our blog, or if you have any questions or concerns, please contact our office  at 763-951-7330

 

 

VISITATION AND PARENTING TIME 


Today we no longer call a father’s time with his children “visitation”.  We call it “parenting time”. 

 

A VERY BRIEF HISTORY OF JOINT CUSTODY

James Cook died on February 21, 2009 at the age of 85.  He is considered to be the founding father of joint custody laws in the United States.  In the 1970’s, Cook was going through a bitter divorce.  He asked for joint custody of his son, but was denied because the law favored giving custody of the children to the mother.  He ultimately lost his battle for custody, but lobbied extensively for the joint custody laws that we enjoy today.  http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-james-cook12-2009mar12,0,1547708.story

 

HOW MINNESOTA FAMILY COURTS TEND TO VIEW JOINT CUSTODY

There is still a strong presumption that the mother is the primary caretaker of young children.  This is not codified in anywhere in the law, but is certainly present in the results of disputed custody cases.  Consider that in disputed custody cases, both parents will typically present themselves as being primary caretakers of the children.  In such cases, Courts routinely rely on the impressions of custody evaluators or guardians ad litem to provide investigative feedback as to which parent served as primary caretaker (along with other factors which may not be as gender-skewed).  Then, if the case does not resolve itself after a custody evaluation, the Court (at least in Minnesota), will accept the custody evaluation as evidence in the case, and will take testimony to determine who is, in fact, the primary caretaker of the children.  Any bias by any professional involved in the case may result in a result that is gender-biased against the father–even though the law is gender neutral.

 

WHAT EXPERIENCE TEACHES US ABOUT CHILD CUSTODY

In my experience, these biases are best resolved by carefully establishing through testimony and documentary evidence that my client performs all or many of all the tasks associated with being a primary caretaker.  It is especially helpful if this evidence is objective.  For example, if my client took the children to every doctor and dentist visit, the care provider notes will indicate it.  If my client attended all student conferences, there will be a record of it.  If my client signs off on all the children’s homework, there is evidence.  If my client does all the transportation to and from daycare or extracurricular activities, there may be no documentary evidence of it, but there is probably some testimonial evidence of it. 

 

I would not risk my client’s relationship with his children based on the ideal of the unbiased judiciary.

 

Jennifer Moore
Moore Family Law, P.A.
3350 Annapolis Lane North, Suite C
Plymouth,  MN 55447
(763) 951-7330
jennifer.moore@moorefamilylawMN.com
 

Divorce Suicide – Discussed by a Minnesota Family Lawyer

 

Everyone has had a stressful time and *almost* everyone has had occasion to think back on how we might have done things better at some crucial moment.   Legacy planning — drawing up your will, setting up a trust for your special needs or minor child – is stressful, but you have to do it.  Obtaining a divorce, fighting for the alimony or child support you need, protecting you child with proper custody arrangements – is stressful, but if you have to do it, you have to.  I’ve given a lot of advice on this blog – some of it helpful, I hope! – but it has occurred to me that sometimes a bit of *negative* advice is in order.  So, here are few ways you can really really mess up your divorce.  Enjoy!

 

1.         Put your head in the sand, drink away and drug away your problems, leave town unannounced, quit your job, quit your friends, quit your insurance – then that SOB / tramp will be sorry!  And, they’ll *have* to pay you alimony!

 

2.         Misdirect your anger, blame the messenger — your attorney — for the message — divorce is often necessarily painful,

 

3.         Make off-the-wall demands.  Make your case the vehicle for revenge, for making the other side suffer, really suffer. Threaten that you will take your ex-to-be for every penny, ensure that he / she never sees the kids again, absolutely guarantee that they get absolutely nothing from the house, the lake house, both cars and the 401K too!

 

4.         Get hysterical in general.  Blame somebody, anybody, everybody, for everything!

 

5.         Accuse your attorney of working for the other side, refuse to help your attorney prepare your case, stiff your attorney for their bill, take legal advice from some guy you met last Friday night in a bar and disregard your attorney’s advice.

 

6.         Insist upon impossible and impractical results.  Make your case the vehicle for resolving global warming, ending injustice to men (or women), establishing some abstract rule of some higher law over everyone, or some such. 

 

7.         Disobey Court Orders

 

8.         Kidnap the children. 

 

That’s it!  We hope you have enjoyed – and learned from – the above.  We know divorce can hurt.  We know making out your will, drawing up a trust, planning your estate, can be disturbing and uncomfortable.  Summing it all up, recognize your fears and hopes and take the steps you need to do what is best for you and your loved ones.

 

http://www.moorefamilylawmn.com/

 

3350 Annapolis Lane North, Suite C

Plymouth, MN  55447

(763) 951-7330